You know sometimes when your teachers scold you, parents nag at you, friends get angry with you? You just try to take it, accept it, twist into around, change it into something positive and get on with life to be a stronger person upon using what it throws at you?
Perhaps not everyone does it, but I do. This year, I've learnt to tell the truth, sort things straight, laugh more, love more, try to lead a better, happier life. I've learnt that proving people wrong, and getting back up more powerful than ever is the sweetest revenge.
I'm flawed, definitely. Heck I'm probably conceited, arrogant, judgemental, curt, sarcastic most of the time. Oh yeah and I'm vengeful and if you hurt me, watch your back because I won't let you go till your life is screwed up in one way or another, and even then I'll keep it that way. But at the very least. I'm trying? I'm trying to be an improved me. An improved Egan. And even when I'm doing that, obviously I'm still making mistakes. That's why I'm supposed to have my family to support me, to talk to me, to pay attention to me. I'm not the most caring and loving person, and you know that. And I know that. So why can't you accept me? Don't you dare compare me to others, especially not to my friends whom I love, because that'll just make me compete with and hate them eventually. In this sense, are you breeding hate? People out there may be getting much higher GPAs than mine, may know how to "concentrate and focus and do their work so much better than" me, may be getting this award, that scholarship, but me. Aren't I leading a much happier life than those people? Have they flown a kite, rolled down a hill, screamed at the sea, walked in a desert, had leeches suck their blood till they felt giddy, climbed a tree, sacrificed their time to serve others with all their heart so that they're lives would be a little better?? No? Yeah that's what I thought.
And after shoving me down, please don't act like everything is okay and be surprised when I only have blank stares and a disappointed face to offer you. There's nothing wrong with letting your face show what your heart feels. Otherwise, your 'face' would never be your face.